Total commitment--after the fire

In reading Peter Haan's tale of the FFA of Hourglass, I am moved to ask what happens after an effort of such magnitude that burns away the dross of life in an all-encompassing fire. What next? Why climb? Why anything anymore?

I can only say 'wow' so many times until it gets me where I am now - unable, unworthy, to express my admiration.

In the humblest of guesses - perhaps to keep the flame of that fire alive, albeit not roaring?

Maybe the challenge would be to keep that sense of transcendence alive even while *not* on the rock.

It's fairly common to put out that fire with ibuprofen and beer, then you're right, no climbing... what's next? ....degnans deli and camp 4

after a while the dross starts to build again so you start collecting sticks for the next fire

Karl 'just talking shit' Baba

(Hey! who belched in here?) 8*) Karluu

May I presume to comment on this? No? Well, I'll do it anyway. The Undercling can always give me a knuckle sandwich if I offend...

After the Gold Rush: Peter achieved a state of satisfaction/success that allowed him to step away from climbing without the hollow sensation that something was left undone. Simple as that. He could continue to climb; or not. It no longer mattered from the standpoint of fulfillment.

Personally, I'm not so sure this is a good thing! What? Enlightenment not a good thing? Nirvanna, once approached, now rejected?

I continue to climb for many, many reasons both good and bad, noble and petty. Among them are a sense of longing, desire and dare I say it, emptiness or at least a lack of fulfillment. Considering how and when I push myself (or more accurately, how I fail to push myself) there are projects I will never complete, potential I will never actualize. If I did fulfill my potential perhaps I too would walk away. Do I really want that?

Perhaps part of my satisfaction with climbing is that I still have the itch and it's the very pursuit, the chase that I most enjoy? I have to think about it.

I have a presumptive question for the Undercling that may help flesh this out:

Peter, (presumptive part) you essentially stepped away from climbing for many years, correct? (now the question): Why did you come back?

I mean no disrespect in asking this. Please forgive if I offend.

Dingus, Karl and threadmates;

The hope in climbing so hard, was also that it would have a good conclusion, that this 'infinite loop of harder and harder climbing' would not be a sick end in itself, nor end badly, but instead inform me, give me growth, and actually bring me to the next great place and give me a time in my young life where I had seen great beauty and perhaps some of life's simple great things.

And so it did, and not ignoring climbing, never forgetting it, I then had nearly 3 decades in a career in construction and manufacturing, climbing casually ever year or so with old friends, experiencing my slowly dwindling powers and boldness, without sadness frankly, as so much additionally had come into my life. Having largely completed this latest phase in my life, I have been climbing again and actually hope to get back and do some of the zillion first ascent prospects that still remain and that I even knew about way back in 1971-75; and to enjoy the wild aesthetics of our art, once again.

It is going to be alot of work clearly, to be bold and powerful enough to get there at 52, but I will keep working on it. The new shoes, hardware and even the 'new people', are so amazing, so encouraging, it feels almost like another sport/art altogether. I have made some great new friends and they are ever so encouraging. Back in the early 1970's when I had reached my peak after ten years of it, the sport was still basically extremely bohemian and termitic, and had oh so many downsides to it. Amongst the small population of climbers, there actually were a few really awful men that tried to dominate the entire scene guru-style and for years they left their insidious fingerprints all over the Valley; I am glad they are gone, and that their influence is merely peculiar history and curious social error, even though now they try to rewrite the real story. For now, a hugely broader spectrum of people populate and contribute to our art, making it a place of great health and progressiveness, full of l

In a small way my story parallels Peter's. After also being on fire, I dropped out of climbing for several years, to have my spiritual rewards partially replaced by raising two small children and the avid pursuit of flyfishing. Upon re-entering the discipline this past summer, I've also found a few changes have occurred for the better, and they include the accessability of this very communication medium (not to mention the availability of the Silent Partner!) Re-reading the old essays by fellows like Chuck Pratt and Doug Robinson, as well as learning for the first time about Peter's writings, has been great fuel for the psyche. (I used to accomplish that by studying photos of Bobbi Bensman.....)

Dear Deadhorsepoint;

good post.and:

I just had an idea. The superb article from which you get your name, is just about the only thing Pratt ever wrote, and by all accounts is one of the finest pieces of modern rockclimbing literature. Everyone I know who aspired or does aspire to writing in this genre, reveres it. Meanwhile, Clint's page could use some new stuff, and so I thought perhaps you should transcribe the article and send it to him, as I am sure he would love to mount it on his page http://www.stanford.edu/~clint/yos/history.htm Cheers, The Und

Undercling,Clint and other literacy-seekers: I can recommend some incredible and haunting reading. Go to Don Perry's site:
http://geocities.com/donaldjamesperry/

I spoke with him many years ago on the telephone about climbing together, but we never partnered-up despite our common interests and mutual acquaintances. Anyhow, I was pleasantly surprised to learn Don had launched his site. It's a bit rough about the edges, but if you can excuse such horrid things as typos and raw emotion (RARE commodities in today's internet!) his writings are jewels. He had an extended version of the site but it appears to be down....

(A circle without end...) Thanks, Peter!