50 Piles

The Dog hinted at it, but nobody bit. So I'm starting a thread to see if we can keep a few routes from getting too crowded. While this is an unlikely thing for me to do (everyone I climb with knows that I enjoy even the biggest choss piles), I think it could stimulate a few memory cells. We usually like to forget about the crappiest days of our climbing careers.

With that said, let's see a list of the chossiest, crap-filled, most desperate piles that you've managed to sling yourself to. There are three criteria: * The route must be a real climb. Old buildings, dead trees, and sea cliffs climbed on a family picnic don't count. * The route must be over 100'. In some places, folks will climb any mud wall that's over 55 degrees, claiming it to be a climb. * You must have topped out. Climbing 50' up Dental Choss, and then rapping off a guano mound doesn't qualify you to spout that the route is a Pile. Who knows, there might be a perfect 75' splitter hand crack, in granite, around the corner.

That said, I'll start with a route that I think everybody should do, given the time and proper mindset.

The Gutter, .10b, Pinnacles Nat'l Monument. This climb looks pretty good from the ground. You go up a nice looking corner that's capped by a huge roof. Underclinging the roof to the right gives you The Roof, a pretty fun .10a climb that most people rap prematurely from shitty anchors. But the climb going out left under the roof is one that seldom gets done. It's a must do for anyone trying to tick everything on DiscoWall. Happily, I climbed to the perch beneath the large overhang and got an eye shot of the horizontal wide crack that cut out left. From there, I could see I had my work cut out

I too thought about starting a 50 piles list. My criteria was popular routes that are in fact piles of shit. Upon reflection, I couldn't think of any significant routes I've done that see a high degree of traffic but are ultimately piles. I don't count obscure routes in out of the way places... those are far more likely than not to be crap anyway. I considered the Valley and points beyond. I eventually gave up when I realized that the only crap piles I could think of were one pitch climbs like, um, oh, how about Church Bowl Tree? And if the best I can do is that measly route, why bother?

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. They're all good, even the piles!

on is Crooked Neck (5.8) at Courtwright Reservoir.

Starts out in a flared, eroded 5.2 crack, but the crack is filled with pine needles that you will deck if you step in (and I would know) so you have to smear up the face. About 5.4, no big deal. Then you traverse ... this climb is ALL about traversing, making it heinous to follow... onto a ledge all full of sand and crap. Then you go up, sort of... up another flared, sideways crack that doesn't really offer any holds except for the little pincushion-sized plants that line it at half a foot intervals and which are REALLY SLIPPERY.(Hmmm... Maybe there are so many plants because not many people are dumb enough to get on this climb??) Then there's the traverse on the holdless slab, where the only pro before the traverse is up a little above the route, so the hapless follower has to climb up, clean the pro and then downclimb/traverse the holdless, slippery slab, where if said follower falls it's going to be road rash city. (Especially if said follower was dumb enough to wear her Kaukulators, which don't smear for shit.) Then more flared crack-gully-crap type stuff... Finally you get into an area with a nice flake to lie back off of and easy holds, but by then you don't care any more. And, after all that, the route ends 3/4 of the way up Penstemon Dome... you don't even get the satisfaction of topping out somewhere interesting. (I guess one could continue to the top if one wanted to)

The worst thing about Crooked Neck may be that since it drew my blood and scared the crap outta me I have now vowed to go back and lead it.

I know some other r.c.'ers did this route about a month before I did... I think I remember Jay Tanzman muttering darkly about 'traverse and downclimb to sandy ledge... that's not REAL climbing...'

Also, Cabe-Man, your latest TR from r.c.u. would definitely qualify for the choss award...

Sadly, many of the popular moderate routes at Tahquitz have a gruesome tale to tell. It's a good way to put off annoying people who insist on tagging along to see what climbing's about: Pull into Humber, then begin to cite the history of fatal errors on each climb as you load their pack full of water, #4's, and rope...

G- 'Hey, where're you going, the trail's this way!?'

I swore I'd never go back, but I've been to Sespe Gorge (sandstone, near Ventura, CA) twice now.

On the main wall are some fairly nice 5.5-5.7 cracks which are pretty clean due to traffic. I stood back from the wall, and off to the right of 'Tree Line' (5.5 crack - is that what it's called?) I spied unused discontinuous crack systems which I thought I could link up to make something interesting. This area of the wall is covered in lichen, moss, and other assorted small veggies which is pretty obvious from the ground.

Started up the first pitch of Tree Line to it's tree anchor. From there went diagonally up and right on faint crack systems and seams. Everything that I pulled on or stepped on broke. Way runout due to lack of pro possibilities, excluding the natural sling threads that I managed on huge sandstone huecos which would have broken had I taken the whipper on them that I would have. I was slinging bushes no thicker than my pinky. I was even afraid that the gear I did get in which just blow out of the poor sandstone should I fall. My feet kept sketching and sliding off of the moss and lichen at every opportunity. The higher I got the more scared I got. Another partner was climbing a route two lines to the left and I warned him that I might ask him to drop me a rope from the top should the route get any worse.

Eventually made the top on what was perhaps the most tense, scary route I'd been on - and it wasn't technically difficult at all.

To top it off, got my third outrageous case of poison oak near the creek bottom as it was Decmber and the oak had shed its leaves. Couldn't identify it. I swore I'd never go back. But I stupidly did not too long ago.

At Squamish, the North Gully is the line of the first ascent, first climbed way back in 1957. Although given '4th class' it might get easy 5th from some people. Definitely different from the standard Squamish experience, it features moving moss carpets, huge trees, devil's club used not only as a handhold but slung for pro, running water, slimy, mobile holds, and a top fifth that is so loose the only possible way to keep it all together is to stem. One of the few climbs at Squamish requiring a mandatory helmet. The escape at the top where one hand-over- hands it out on blueberry bushes and a rotten log is par for the course.

If you liked the North Gully, the South gully is the same but harder. from there you can move up to true choss piles like Crap Crags with the Colon finish, Baby Doll on the Squaw,Overhanging Gardens on the Papoose and then on to harder chosspiles like Tall Skinny People ( a 4-pitch full body chimney requiring a wetsuit and scuba gear on most occasions, it goes at 'only' 10c and rquires at least 2 #4 Camalots, 'more if you've got them'. Of course, the ultimate Squamish jungle route, Petgill Wall, is still unrepeated 25 years later (8 pitch mossy offwidth/squeeze chimney with 4 hour bushwack approach).

Before you buy.

Mt. Washington in Oregon

I can think of one that we did several years ago that Might fit the billet if'n it weren't fer the 100 foot requirement...

A friend (at the time) had been working a shorter sport route and decided that this was the day to top it...We sat up and he got about 3/4's the way up and pulled a finger tendon on a small pocket. Wellll, that made it my turn...And as my next trick, I charged ahead. And (again there's this and) as I hadn't paid much attention to the foliage, growing out of those pockets, I received a most interesting surprise after about the third or fourth brush of that particular foliage. It became painfully obvious that the stuff was a variety of nettle...something that grows in abundance around here (although this is the first time I've seen it growing up the side of the rock...),I topped and looked like something straight out of the text books on skin disorders...

No more Hobble Creek routes for me please...Don't know the name of the route and as it was most definitely a 'Pile' even without the nettle I have no interest in ever going back...

The Rockrat...(Give me San Rafael sandstone or give me....oh wait...I seem to remember this overly famous mud stone tower down in that area also...)

What is with those guys??? I mean, as if it weren't bad enough to already have the willies building, you get to watch the Helio guys visually measure each one of the party for body bags...The first time we did the Grand we unfortunately topped out a little late with a good front moving in...as we were setting up the rap on the backside that helicopter just wouldn't leave...Like waking up next to the Baskerville casket truck every stop from Seattle to Flagstaff...(but, that's another story...)

The Rockrat...(We now return you to your regularly scheduled story session)

North-East Face of Ha Ling Peak (Canadian Rockies)

Only two of the 12 pitches could be charitably described as solid and even then, one of them offers only 2 pieces of pro in a 45m pitch while the other is a traverse protected mainly by questionable fixed pins and bolts. Gravel abounds, just waiting to be swept down by the rope. The top 1/4 of the route follows a huge ramped dihedral whose right wall is composed of big black Jenga Blocks waiting to slide out and take out the belay.

Typically the moderate rating (5.6) attracts crowds of bumblies as targets. The first time I climbed it I thought it wasn't too bad, a serious sort of fun. The second time I felt like puking the whole way up and couldn't wait to get off alive. Still I would recommend the route, just get up there early and wear a helmet.

Runner up choss-pile is the Kain Route on Bugaboo Spire. Historical considerations notwithstanding, 500' of crevasses + 1000' of vertical sandpit to reach 2 good pitches of climbing just doesn't seem good value to me. YMMV

Neither of the guys they were rescuing were dead. Thankfully. Just hurt very, very badly. THe had been up there laying in the talus since Thursday; it was Saturday morning before they were discovered and rescue was initiated. I've since met one of the climbers who is recovering as we speak and hopefully, someday soon, I'll be able to climb with him.

I had pictures of the rescue to give him for posterity.

But yes, it was extremely unnerving to try and climb a route with a helocopter what seemed to be only a few feet away. I even made eye contact with the pilot as I belayed the second. In a way I was glad he was there as I felt our own rescue was imminent on that pile of choss.